Happy Father’s Day

This time of the year is never an easy stretch for me. Just over a month ago would have been my father’s birthday, in 4 days it’ll mark the 18^th anniversary of his death, and tomorrow is Father’s Day. Before you stop reading hoping to avoid sadness, this won’t all be bad. In my 23 very short years on this earth, I have learned to handle many things. I have learned how to lose with grace, win humbly, handle rejection, and how to develop deeply rooted friendships. One of the things I have yet to grasp fully is how to handle loss. You see, facing such a significant loss at such a young age almost desensitizes you to the effects it truly has. When you’re five years old, you don’t understand the magnitude of such an event. The worst part about losing your parent at such a young age is that the hurt only continues to magnify with every accomplishment, setback, or hardship.

 

My father missed my first day of kindergarten, however on that drive to school my thought wasn’t “I wish my dad was here” but “I hope these kids will like me”. When I moved to Monticello and began school at Oaklawn a similar thought crossed my mind, “I hope these new kids will like me”. My first little league baseball game in Monticello was met with hope and optimism not the thought of my father not being able to see me play. When I got my first kiss and had my first serious crush (S/O to Fallon) I wasn’t thinking “I wish my dad could give me advice”. You see it wasn’t until 7^th grade that my first, “Holy Shit, my dad will never be here for any of this” really hit me.

 

I was making my debut as an offensive lineman for Roosevelt, mom was excited and as proud as can be. However, the night before I sobbed for hours because I knew no matter what he was going to miss this. When Roosevelt held their normal 8^th grade graduation ceremony, I couldn’t help but fight tears because as I looked around at proud parents, my mom sat alone. I thought from that moment that things would be easier, I would learn to adjust and just know that he wasn’t there and never would be. That wasn’t the case though.

 

When I made the high school golf team, I wasn’t overcome with happiness but sadness because my father who loved to golf would never be able to show me how to properly hit a 5 iron. To be honest, aside from high school and college graduation, golf always caused the most misery for me. My freshman year, season all done and the only thing left was the banquet which has always been preceded by a father-son 9-hole scramble. I mean what kind of sick joke was that? For weeks, I struggled with what to do, whether to just show up for the banquet or ask a coach to stand-in. Luckily for me, my best friend’s father called me and offered to play.

 

Here is where things become a little happier. I have been lucky enough to be blessed with many father figures who have come into my life and served a role or provided some of that fatherly guidance I was never able to have. So here is to those guys, thank you for being there for me over the last 10+ years, through triumphs, hardships, and failures.

 

Bobby Ezra, thank you for stepping up to play as my stand-in father at all of those banquets, when I know you had a dozen other things you could be doing. Thank you for showing me love and support, you’ve played a great part in where I am today.

 

Danny Fry, thank you for being there as a friend and a role model. You’ve taught me how to laugh at yourself and how to stay positive no matter the farking situation. You also helped me curate creative curse words. Thank you for advice as I navigated college and all of the struggles that go along with it.

 

Gary Allen, thank you for teaching me how to work with a good attitude. Over the last 5 years, you have played a huge part in my life. Being there for support and as someone I know I can go to if I just need to get something off of my chest. Thank you for reiterating the speeches from my mother about work ethic.

 

Kyle Kline, thank you for being one hell of a guy since I’ve known you. You gave the fat kid with 1992 dunlops the benefit of the doubt when he tried out for golf. You helped me with many hurdles during my time in high school and college. You also taught me how to hit that 5 iron my dad was never able to. Thank you for the guidance, advice, friendship and the laughs.

 

Lastly, I want to say thank you to all of the children of these wonderful men who shared their fathers. While I still hold that my mother has been, is, and always will be the best double parent. Without these men, life would have been a lot more difficult and especially emptier. So here is to these men; Bobby, Danny, Gary, and Kyle.  Thank you for everything you have done for me and taking on more than was ever required of you. Happy Father’s Day to the four of you, have a beer, play some golf, eat some pizza but I hope you have the greatest of days.

 

 

Donald Trump: The Greatest Thing in American Politics Since Ralph Nader

Let me stop you right there, I know you read the title and thought, “This idiot is out of his mother loving mind”.  Well, maybe but that issue can be put up for debate for years.  However this post isn’t some Right-Wing minority and poor people hating propaganda.  It’s an issue that has plagued the Presidential election since the election of 1824.  What is this issue you may ask? Well let me enlighten you on democracy’s anti-christ, the electoral college.

The electoral college is an institution founded to keep the President from feeling bound to certain people, legislators to be exact. When the founding fathers were deciding on how to elect the President, three main choices were brought up.  First, they considered having state legislators elect the President. However, they realized that this might cause the President to feel beholden to state legislators.  That they would grant unprecedented favors by the President and undermine federal authority. Eroding the entire federalism system. Secondly, they considered having congress elect the President.  Much like the first idea, this also drew skepticism of a President feeling the need to repay the favor of election to legislators.  Once again, undermining the separation of powers and the checks and balances system.  The third solution that was proposed was a direct popular vote. My favorite to be honest. Even this though, which to me is the definition of democracy, was met with skepticism.  They worried that people wouldn’t be able to gain adequate knowledge on the candidates to make an informed decision. Not that the people were stupid to decide on a President, but gaining knowledge and information wasn’t as easy back then(obviously).  So, I understand that they needed a solution that kept the President away from necessary favors but also still listened to the Public.  Thus, we now have the electoral college system.

The system itself is composed of 538 members, representing each member of congress and then three members for the District of Columbia (Thanks 23rd amendment!).  Quick Congress lesson, the District of Colombia has no representation in the Senate, and only a delegate in the House of Representatives.  The delegate is not allowed to vote, but can speak on the floor and vote in procedural matters and congressional committees.  Back to the main point, so to win the Presidency the Candidate must win the majority of electoral college members, not the popular vote. Which the majority is 270, thats the magic number for Presidential hopefuls. Let me guess, you missed the most important part of the post thus far. I repeat, THE PRESIDENT DOES NOT HAVE TO WIN THE POPULAR VOTE TO BE ELECTED.  Better? Good.

I get it, in the 1700’s twitter and tv were hard to come by. You don’t have to explain that part to me. I will give the founding fathers this, they found a temporary solution that should have only been used until a way to incorporate the public better was founded.  Well, that didn’t happen and here we are 2015 with a new and improved electoral college.  Just kidding, its been changed since its original founding but I wouldn’t call much about it improved.  Four times in history they President-elect has been selected by the electoral college and not the public.  You may now say to yourself. “4? That’s it, you’re freaking out about four Presidents?”. Why yes I am, not because it is fundamentally wrong for something like this to happen in a country that claims to be “For the people, BY THE PEOPLE”.  However, with the electoral college you get more of “For the donors, by some people”.

In 1824, John Quincy Adams was elected as the United States President without winning either. Now you tell me, should that happen? Well no obviously. How can we change this though? I say give power to the people.  The public is engaged more in public issues than ever before. Thank you social media and television.  The ease of access to knowledge and information is greater now than ever before.  In thirty seconds, anyone with a smart phone and good service could tell me who the 17th President was.  It’s Andrew Johnson by the way, the man who took over after Lincoln was murdered.  What I’m trying to say in a very roundabout way is that congress can no longer justify a statement that the public wouldn’t have the knowledge about candidates to decide on their own.  In 2000 Al Gore deserved the Presidency, for no reason other than he won the American populations popular vote.  He was able to convince more people to vote for him than Bush was able too.  Imagine history now, the course of history could be completely different, the handling of the terrorist attacks of 9/11 to the current climate situation. By not ridding ourselves of the electoral college system we are stripping ourselves of the right to be fully heard.  Whether you’re a democrat, which you’re probably a little more pissed now that I mentioned Bush and Gore, or a republican you should be heard.

The electoral college is one of the main driving forces for the polarization of the current political setting.  It causes democratic hopefuls to skip over voters in Texas and Indiana, and republican hopefuls to skip New York and California.  It is almost single handedly responsible for the two party system we all know today.  We MUST identify as Republican or Democrat, which means we can’t vote for people who are fighting for a main cause.  They run on a party platform, not what they believe in.  The only thing that would prove this more is if Donald Trump lost the republican nomination and ran as a third party candidate.  Where Ralph Nader didn’t have the capital to get his name nation-wide until he cost Gore Florida, Trump has that power.  He has the ability to steal much of the popular vote and quite a few electoral college votes.  Handing the Presidency to the democratic party quite easily. He would split the republican party greatly, much like Roosevelt and the Bull Moose party did in the 1912 election handing the Presidency to Woodrow Wilson.

The elimination of the electoral college would not only bring the power back to the people but it would make the candidates work for our vote.  You would no longer have to vote republican because the other guy is a democrat, and democrats are the devil.  Just kidding, but that’s how it seems now.  Compromise is the real c-word in Washington, don’t say it, EVER.  We need candidates who will address the issues head on, and aren’t afraid to work for opposite leaning constituents votes.  It’s time to take our country back, I know that sounds all revolutionary and over the top. But we are letting old men and women decide what happens in a future they probably won’t live in, if they do it won’t be long.  We love to bitch about what is being done or what isn’t, yet we never do anything about it.  This would be a great first step, it’s our time not theirs. It’s our future, not theirs.  So thank you Donald Trump, for reminding me just how broken our election process for the President of the United States is.

June 21st, 1999

“Mom he won’t wake up, and his face is blue.” “Honey, call 911 right now.” That’s what I heard while I sat on the couch in our living room. I would have never thought my life could be so twisted that quickly. It’s funny how life works out sometimes.

It was a typical Monday morning in the summer for the Dickson bunch. I was still pretty happy that dad loved the gift I got him for Father’s Day just the day before. Dad had to work that night so he was sleeping; us kids were out playing with friends but were told to come in for lunch. I would of loved to keep playing football with the neighborhood kids, even though Josiah was there, I never liked that kid. His dad was in prison at the time so I think he was always jealous of my brother and I for being so close to our dad. It was nice being able to watch my brother absolutely destroy that kid in the yard.

When we came in the house for lunch, mom wasn’t fully ready for us even though she rushed us to come in. So we sat, all six of us kids in the living room waiting for lunch, as usual I was hungry as hell so I snuck a few chips in when mom wasn’t looking. It was just about then that things forever changed for my family, “Courtney go up and check on your dad real quick.”  Courtney came back down stairs pretty quickly, almost too quickly, you could just tell something was wrong by the sound of her footsteps and the way they slammed down on that old staircase.

“Mom he won’t wake up, and his face is blue.” The panic in her voice was extremely apparent and she had already begun crying, you could tell she knew more than what she wanted to say. “Honey, call 911 right now.” Mom yelled back to Courtney as she ran up the stairs to see exactly what Courtney was talking about. It was just as quickly she got up the stairs that she came right back down, grabbing the phone from Courtney. I can only imagine that operator’s confusion at first, because Courtney couldn’t compose herself, which I don’t blame her she was old enough to know exactly what was happening. Mom described what happened to the operator and gave them our address; she had tears on her face but it wasn’t a full on cry.  I think she was trying to hide her fear, but much like me she’s never been great at hiding her expressions. I’ve never seen that look on my mom’s face since that day. The look wasn’t sadness, it was fear, scared of what was to come and what she could no longer control.

Courtney took us out in the backyard to hangout while the paramedics put dad on a stretcher and took him to the hospital. The last thing I remember from that day was while us kids were in the backyard. Our friends that lived next door came up to the fence and asked, “Why is there an ambulance at your house?” I had picked up on everything going on, it took me awhile but I eventually gathered there was a tragedy. So like a contestant on jeopardy who finally knew the answer my eyes lit up, and with an uneasy amount of energy I responded, “They are here to pick up my dad, he just died”.

June 21^st, 1999 is a day that will forever be imbedded in my memory. My story may be different from my siblings, but I think that is because tragedy shapes how you remember things. Some of my siblings may have blocked this day out of there memory totally, or at least some of the details and fine points. However, I have tried to recall every detail because it was on this day I decided to become who I am. Whether I knew it then or not, this day was going to shape everything about my life. The decisions I have made and path I have chosen have been to make my father proud. I can attribute many of my accomplishments to my father, but mainly I thank my mom. The strength she has showed since that day, has been my ultimate motivator.

Government Marriage is not Religious Marriage

Marriage, it’s exact origin is unclear.  However many agree that it was defined in a religious context. (notice: I said religious, not Christian context)  Many religions today, and for much of their past have argued that marriage is to be between one man and one woman.  Especially in the United States the fight for “traditional marriage” is alive and strong.  However, can we really say that marriage in the context of the government is religious?

The simplest answer I can think of, is no.  Marriage is no longer considered religious when controlled by the government.  No matter where you stand on the debate of same-sex marriage, you must understand that when two people are recognized by the government as married, they receive certain benefits.  The government allows taxes to be processed differently, the couple can be covered on one or the other’s health insurance plan.  The government is the cause for the fragmentation between religious groups and same-sex marriage activists.

The issue can be originated to the mid-1900’s when the government began to require marriage licenses for couples.  The licenses were to be obtained by the state or the church, saying that the two people were legally married.  My question to that, why does the government need to oversee marriage at all? If we look at marriage in a traditional sense, removing the government oversight, there is an argument against gay couples being married by the church.  However, if there is nothing other than a church to recognize a couple as “married”, then that particular Church’s rules must be followed. (Let’s keep in mind that even today some Churches support the same-sex movement)  Therefore the government can no longer give special benefits to “legally” married couples because there technically are no state sponsored marriages.

Couples would be thus be recognized as together, without branding the word marriage (via the government) on them.  Should all couples that live together, depend upon each other be able to all receive the same benefits from the government as the others despite their sexual orientation? I say yes.  When marriage is sanctioned by the government, it becomes nearly impossible to defend as religious sacrament.  Republican’s defend traditional marriage tooth and nail, and I like that. Except rather than fighting for individual liberty, which is what this issue is, they fight to maintain more government control.  The Republicans should be fighting for the LGBT community in the regard that the government is holding them back from certain liberties.

In the end, something has to be done about the situation.  We just need to make sure that whatever is done is actually the right thing.  We also need to remember as a country as a whole, one of the greatest freedoms we have is that of opinion.  It’s okay not to agree with the life of another person, but that doesn’t give you the right to belittle them or oppress them.  I have met some great people in my life, gay and straight, and I’m proud to call myself friends with many gay and straight people.  I personally believe that as long as the government is overseeing the process of marriage, then everyone should have the right to be married by the government.  Churches can’t be forced to conduct the ceremonies, but have the option too.  Heck, I think many people would be ecstatic about civil unions, as long as they come with the same benefits and legal obligations as marriages.

First Go Around

Well it’s probably not hard to tell from the crappy profile put together and the more than likely too long about section I am very new to this.  I do plan on figuring it all out, and eventually blowing your minds with my insight on certain matters.

I also want to say that I hope everyone who views my profile, would ask a question that have, or provide insight into something I discussed from a different point of view.  I’m a firm believer in everyone should have an educated opinion even if I disagree, it shows you care about the subject and your surroundings.

With that, I ask you to stay tuned and I’ll provide you with some opinionated discussions on current, past, and possible future situations.

H.D.